Rebirth Online World

Author’s note: I’ve appointed belthor as a proofreader (give him some *clap clap*), so if you read a day after the release, all the mistakes should be corrected. I’ll think of increasing my pace and sending him the chapters earlier, but that’s not possible for a while. Anyways, here you go with yet another chapter, enjoy the read.

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*drip* *drip*

It has been a long time since I indulged myself in such a bloody whirlwind of death.
Bodies of NPCs littered the floor in front of the underground cave entrance.
Many white beams of light appeared in the horizon.

*swipe*

Yeah, yeah, fuck you game.
No self-defense mechanism, really?
*sigh*

I looked around, people who were selling items or providing various services in front of the [Desolated Catacombs] were gathered, looking at me with timidly, fearful eyes.
Good job, Icicle, scaring off some weaklings…

Whatever, these mercenary or whatever idiots shouldn’t oppose me so openly.
Not giving the scared people another glance, I moved towards the cave leading to the underground.
Two guards were staring at me wide-eyed, then they knelt on one knee and said respectfully.

Guards: H-Have a s-safe trip, lord.

*step* *step*

Hmm, let’s see how much money has been gathered.

135 thousand? What the hell?!
How many new players have started playing Loiterous?!
I mean, devs said something about a million, but 135 thousand gold coins?
Jesus, these monsters must have been dying like crazy!
Maybe I should have made their respawn every 15 minutes…?

No, no, no, let’s not be greedy!
If this cave generates this much profit, then it’s already awesome.
Keep it coming newbs!

So, let’s see how much money do I have…
58 000 gold coins, counting my personal 2000, plus 135 467 gold coins, that gives me total of… 193 467 gold coins.
I suppose that’s what it means to be filthy rich, but for the house leader, that’s most likely nothing more than extreme poverty.

Alright, it’s time to visit the Goblin Chieftain.

My walk towards the Goblin Encampment was uneventful.
[Goblin Deserters] which were ranging from level 18 to 21 and [Black spiderlings] which were ranging from lvl 21 to 24, didn’t even try to attack me after I released a tiny bit of killing intent.
I inferred that these creatures can sense the potential danger, plus my stats and level are way higher, so they stayed put in their respective positions or hideouts.

When the wooden palisade was in sight, I mused about one thing.

‘Why was I even able to claim [Desolated Catacombs]?’

While [Forsaken Labyrinth], at least its first level, is due to Tyxx, and [Zaryoux Temple] due to gaining control over Zexna, why was [Desolated Catacombs] handed over to me?
The only thing I can think of would be the Goblin Chieftain.
I was the only one to finish and deliver the quest, after all.

Goblin Chieftain: Hohoho, if it isn’t one of our saviors.

Goblin Chieftain was standing atop of the wooden palisade, above the gate, gesturing me to come inside.

Icicle: Hello Chieftain, I came to see how you’re all faring.

Goblin Chieftain: We’re doing alright. These miserable Orcs are not harassing us as much anymore. It’s thanks to you that adventurers keep on coming and ask to fulfill various tasks for us. You can say we’re entering a golden age for goblins, hohoho.

Yet deserters still run amok the dungeon…

Hm? What’s this window above the fort?

…what?!

Icicle: Umm, Chieftain, I’ve just gained information about the Orcs’ second invasion. It’s supposed to happen in 12 days and 4 hours.

Goblin Chieftain: That’s pretty weird indeed. Normally they don’t attack us that often, because they need to prepare reinforcements. But there’s no way our savior would lie either… hmm… The only thing I can think of, is that these hideous Orcs will send even more powerful warriors to deal with us this time! Savior, I implore you, please help us!

Fucking great, as always, I don’t even have a say in the matter!
Act calm, sound convinced…! *grit*

Icicle: Fine, I’ll help you, what do you need?

Goblin Chieftain: Mmm, we need money!

How… unexpected.

Icicle: Okay, tell me how much and what for, so I won’t be surprised.

What can they need? Shouldn’t exceed like 5000 gold coins, right…?

Goblin Chieftain: Where should I start… alright, I think I’ve got it. So… 2000 gold coins for nursery school. Goblins do grow fast, so we need to have a place that takes care of young ones. After that I need 3000 gold for Basic Warrior Training Ground. When these little green scrubs are trained at least a little, we need to train them even harder to make use of their ridiculous growth spurt! This way they’ll get even stronger! That’s where Barracks come in, 5000 gold coins! What’s next…

That’s 10 000 gold already! What do you mean next, dammit?!

Goblin Chieftain: These Orcs may be ruthless, but they leave a lot of decent equipment behind them, so, with that said, we need to store it, and for that, we require Armory – 8000 gold! Assuming that there will be a lot of goblins, now that we’re thriving, expanding our Granary is a necessity, so 2000 gold for that purpose! Mmm, I think that should be it…

Really? 20 000 gold coins?
Fine, I can take that… somehow.

Goblin Chieftain: … for the warriors. Let’s proceed to Archers. We need Archery Training Grounds, that’s 3000 gold, plus Archery School… Archery experts are hard to find, so that will be total of about… 7000 gold coins. Warriors and Archers can share the armory, that’s not an issue. Alright, that should be it…

Okay, that’s 30 000 gold.
It’s manageable, I don’t want to wipe out the entire village, I’m calm, nothing can disturb me…!

Goblin Chieftains: There are two groups left, Shamans and Mages. We do not have many talents in this field of expertise, so 10000 gold coins for both of these groups’ educations should suffice. Nonetheless, we still require Officer Training School, if people can’t be kept in line, then all of this training won’t matter. That’s another 10 000 gold.

*gnash* *grit*

50 grand!
Please hold me or I might behead someone…!

People need to be kept in line?!
For fucks sake, you told your men to sally out against the Orcs last time!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Goblin Chieftain: Okay, that’s it for the modernization of the inside. As for the outside…

…what?! There’s still more!
What the fuck! This quest has such measly rewards!
Who the hell do you think I am!?
This continent’s savior?!
Shit!

Goblin Chieftain: Watch towers, thick stone walls, moat, spikes, tar, braziers, strengthened gates… mmm… that will cost around… 40 000 gold!

…WHAT?!
90 000 gold coins total?!
Are you shitting me?!
That’s almost half of what I have!

Here I was, enjoying the feeling of being rich for a second… only to be brought to reality by this cruel EXTORT!

Breathe Icicle, breathe!
INHALE!
EXHALE!
Good, your chest is moving the right way.
INHALE!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Goblin Chieftain: Is something wrong, savior? You seem like you’re in a lot of pain. Don’t tell me you have an epileptic fit?

Is something wrong, he asks…
Even fighting with Tyxx for 3 days straight didn’t mentally strain me as much as this ridiculous situation!
I’m just so… powerless!
All this helplessness makes me want to obliterate this entire village and then kill myself, to finally gain some highly desired peace of mind!

Future!
Think of the future!
Maybe these green scoundrels will somehow repay you!

Yeah, right, I would rather believe in Likaan being a Santa Claus than this shit!
Then again, it’s thanks to these goblins that I earned 135 467 gold coins… even if I hand out these 90 000 gold, I won’t go under, hell, I’ll be up by 45 467 gold!

Heaving a resigned, inward sigh, I tried to smile while saying

Icicle: It’s not a problem, Chief, here you go, 90 000 gold! I hope this serves your purpose well.

Goblin Chieftain: Hohoho, you’re so generous, savior.

Generous my ass, I want my money back. *sniffle*
My mouth’s so sore from this fake smiling… *sniffle*

Goblin Chieftain: This indeed will suffice. I’ll call someone to make arrangements for the materials. Shady! Come out!

Few clouds of smoke appeared, and from them, appeared a perso-, no a goblin.

Shady: You called, chieftain?

What the hell is this goblin?
Vivid green eyes, glowing ominously, pointy ears and facial features of a veteran scammer.
Not to mention that light brown sack on its back.
No wonder he’s called Shady…

Let’s see his [Status].

He’s a goddamn Swindler!

Goblin Shady: … mmm, this amount will suffice, but what about my pay?

Goblin Chieftain: Benefactor, would you mind paying the fee?

Like I do have a choice, you greedy bastard!
*sigh*

Icicle: How much?

Govlin Shady: It’s 10%, so 9000 gold.

… you’re freaking kidding me!

[Water step]

Appearing next to Shady’s right side, I gently whispered into his left ear.

Icicle: *How about this, I’ll give you 1000 gold and keep your identity as Swindler a secret, hm?*

Goblin Shady: *smirk* Hehe, of course, that’s completely fine sir, it’s our first time doing business, so 1000 gold coins is more than enough. Now, if you’ll excuse me.

What…?
Shady just disappeared into thin air.
Only few puffs of smoke were left…

Will I be able to do something like this when my [Mastermind] subclass levels up?
I can’t wait!

Icicle: Umm, chieftain, are you sure this Shady fellow is going to deliver what he promised?

Goblin Chieftain: Hohoho, of course, he’s bound to an archaic spell. We don’t care if he steals the materials or buys them, after Shady agrees to a contract he has to deliver the goods. Trust me, that one is devious and tricky, but he can’t outsmart all of us. That’s how it is.

Icicle: If you say so… Alright, I’ll get going.

No, no, no!
Don’t you fucking dare!
I won’t be ripped off again!
PLEASE, MERCY!

Goblin Chieftain: Actually, savior, now that you have helped us out with the village, there’s one more thing that we need to be fully content…

All the prayers went down the drain!
That is, ladies and gentlemen, exactly why I am an atheist.
I’ve had enough faith leaps to then still get fucked all over!

First I’m getting insulted and attacked by some wannabe mercenary scrubs, now it turns into getting ripped off by faking-innocence Goblin Chieftain, what else can happen?!
Meteorite dropping right on top of my forehead?!
Fuck!

Calm and steady…
1…2…3… nah, this doesn’t work for me.

Icicle: This quest, how urgent is it?

Goblin Chieftain: Mmm, we won’t be able to train any new soldiers before the battle, so these 12 days period doesn’t matter. That’s why as long as you deliver the totem before the Orcs’ invasion starts, I’ll consider this task fulfilled.

Maybe heavens haven’t forsaken me after all…

Icicle: Anything I should know about it? How it looks like? Possible dangers, hidden traps?

Goblin Chieftain: It’s a wooden totem, you’ll be able to recognize it when you see it. As for other things…Hm… there are most likely remnants of our ancestors, ghosts and hidden magical devices. If I were you, I would expect some kind of a boss guardian too.

… great.

Icicle: Alright then, I’ll come back to fulfill my “mission” before the invasion starts. Until then.

Goblin Chieftain: Goodbye, savior.

Zetra: *Master, is everything alright? You were gone for like half an hour already, did something go wrong?*

Icicle: *Goblin chieftain started a chain quest for me, so I was quite… busy. I’ll tell you all about it when I get out.*

Zetra: *Sounds fun. You should’ve brought me along.*

Icicle: *You’re lucky you didn’t come, I would have most likely vented my anger on you.*

Zetra: *Wow, that’s so mean, Master… You had better buy a punching bag or something, before this turns into a habit…*

Bird Counsel episode 1…

Icicle: *I’ll turn your plumage into stuffing for that punching bag. Seriously, Zetra, I am pissed off, stop with the jokes. You can laugh at me all you want after I calm down somewhat.*

Zetra: *You’re no fun, Master~*

It’s all fun when you’re the one tricking and deceiving people.
But when you’re on the receiving end… to hell with it!
Goddamn karma, I wonder if it really exists…

…

Goblin’s Village, Chieftain’s POV

Goblin Chieftain: Oi, Shady, do you think he’s convinced?

*appear*

Shady: There’s no reason he wouldn’t be. We’ve played our roles perfectly. The renovations, instructors and all these buildings will cost 40 000 gold coins, even if we run into some… inconveniences, the total cost won’t exceed 50 000 gold.
Thus, we’ve between 40 and 50 thousand gold coins of profit.

Goblin Chieftain: The problem is, I’m anxious about this man getting the wind of our little “operation”. We will all be executed! You can’t even imagine his cruelty! I saw him murder his kin without mercy, more than 50 people instantly dead! Do you think I would just give this location over to him if it weren’t for that fear?!

Shady: Hehehe, that’s why you’re reaping the benefits now. Sort of a revenge. Just let him take one item of the Ancient Ruins, then this Icicle Whitesnow fella will bring us back the totem or die trying. In the case of him succeeding, we’ll be able to once again prosper and overcome the Orcs! You know what comes after Orcs, don’t you?

Goblin Chieftain: Hohoho, of course I do! The craftiest and the richest creatures in the world… humans!

…

Desolated Catacombs, Icicle’s POV

I feel like I’ve been deceived.
Thoroughly scammed!
Well, that doesn’t matter, even if I did.
These Goblins’ Ancient Ruins most likely have some artifacts, if I’m able to get my hands on them I will finally be able to get my hands on some new equipment!
Fufufufu, trust me, little green creatures, you won’t even know how many items will go missing…!