Author’s note: Here you guys go, above 5000 words chapter. Enjoy the read.
Waking up, I saw myself lying on my stomach, still clothed in a black suit, not even my shoes were taken off…
‘Jesus, was I drunk…?’
Slowly remembering what happened, I checked the time.
12:09 pm.
Damn, that was quite a long slumber.
Looking for my phone was a chore.
Why the hell isn’t it on the nightstand?
‘Cleaners…’
Searching for around 20 minutes, I got tired.
To hell with that phone, I’ll find it sooner or later…
Moving to the kitchen, I saw my cell phone laying on the table.
Really…?
You’ve 17 missed calls.
Huh?
[Clare]
[Clare]
…
[Clare]
Great, now my sister wants to kill me.
I wonder if something even worse can happen today…
[You’ve one unread text message]
[From: Clare]
You stupid brother! Where the hell are you? I’ve been waiting with the girls for three days already! […] or I’ll kill you! Hurry up and get your ass back in the game! […] At least call me when you’re back! Hmph!
Don’t look at me like that… I had to redact parts of this message…
My sister just got too riled up, she for sure doesn’t think that I have a small… *sniffle*
A-Anyways,, I replied that I’ll be in game by today’s evening…
Let’s pray that her mad-o-meter stays low.
*sigh*
There were still some things I had to do in order to feel satisfied.
Can’t have these policemen walk out unscathed, can I?
*ring* *ring*
“Leave the message.”
Why is Bob not picking up…?
Strange.
Let’s try Shawn then.
*ring* *ring*
“Hey, it’s Shawn, I can’t pick up the phon-”
Great, he’s not responding either.
That leaves me only with one answer…
Do I really need to do this…?
Dialing the number, I pressed the call button.
???: Underwood household.
Icicle: Hey mom.
Mother: J-Jason?! My baby called! How are you?! Are you starving? Do you have any problems? Tell me your address, mommy will come and pick you up, okay?!
Icicle: U-Umm, mom, I didn’t call for thi-
Mother: Mother was so worried about you! You didn’t call for over two years! Do you know how long have I searched for you?! How could you do that to me so suddenly?! My only boy…!
…
10 minutes later
Mother: … do you understand?!
*beep* *beep*
I couldn’t take it anymore and hung up.
If it wasn’t for Bob and Shawn, I wouldn’t call again.
At least not yet…
Mother: Underwood household.
Icicle: It’s me again, can I speak for a while now?
Mother: How could you just hang up, mother was worried about you~!
Icicle: MOM! Give Bob the phone.
Mother: Huh, what are you talking about, Jason? There’s no Bob here…
Icicle: I’m not in the mood right now, mom. Hand Bob the phone, please.
Mother: I told you, Bob isn’t here! How can you not believe your mother? Such a bad child…!
Icicle: If you want me to ever come and visit you, then hand the phone over to Bob in the next 5 seconds. This is not a joke. Five. Four. Three. Two…
Bob: Hello? Boss? What is it?
It’s a miracle!
Icicle: Get Shawn and come pick me up. I have to deal with these police scrubs.
Bob: I’m not sure we’re in the position to move right now, sir…
Icicle: Don’t think about what you can and cannot do, and comply with my order. Give me my mother back.
Mother: Jason…? What is it baby? Are you going to visit me?
Icicle: I know you’ve most likely gotten the address from Bob and Shawn, but that doesn’t matter. I’ll come and visit you when it’s appropriate for me. I’m simply not ready yet, mom. There’s no way I can come back and look you in the eyes. My emotions… there’s so much guilt, shame and embarassment… it won’t go away with a poof, as if someone cast a spell… These things need time to heal. Please let my subordinates go, they’re not responsible for this. I’ll visit you when I’m ready. I’m really sorry about this whole thing…love you mom.
Hanging up, I sat on the chair, completely devoid of strength.
My legs were trembling, my eyes were moistened and feeling of utter sadness encompassed me.
To think I can’t even go and see my own mother without feeling ashamed…
*sigh* What’ve I done with my life…
You’re wondering why I’m scared of my mother…?
…how should I explain it…
Hmmm… oh right, let’s try it like this.
Social networking sites.
There’s someone you’va taken a liking to, in my case let it be a girl, you’re saying “Hi” then if all goes well you’re clicking and start talking.
If not… you’re sued for harassment and get a fine or have your ass hurled in jail.
For the sake of explaining my point, let’s go another route.
So you’re talking with this girl through some chat, you’re all happy, after some time pair of balls grows on you, and for some unknown to you reason, BAM, you’ve scheduled a meeting.
Your mind’s telling you no, but your body’s telling you “go for it”!
Buying expensive suit, perfumes, shaving, even getting a haircut.
Of course, you’re not forgetting condoms.
Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky!
With all these expectations, you’re getting ready.
Your tie is not crooked, which surprises you.
Even your shoes are all shiny!
Then there’s your phone ringing.
“Hello?” you say.
“Someone is happy! Is is that time?” your mother asks.
“Yeah mom, I’m off.”
With a superb mood, you storm off, ready to challenge the world to be with the girl you’ve taken such a liking to.
Time’s ticking, yet there’s no maiden in sight.
All thoughts come to mind.
‘Will she show up?’
‘Maybe she doesn’t like me…’
Then you’re starting to reassure yourself.
‘No way, the girl I talked to can’t be like that! She was so kind, after all!’
Fifteen minutes later, you’re still waiting.
Clinging to these last pieces of hope, you’re forcing yourself to believe.
‘Women, they’re always late…’
Another fifteen minutes and there’s nothing.
About to give up, you’re turning on your heel.
There’s a dust bin right in front of you, the flowers in your hands itch, you want to throw them away and be done with this whole “romantic appointment”.
As your heart is about to break into pieces, someone touches your shoulder.
Before you even have a chance to turn around, you hear a lovely voice.
“I’m sorry for being so late, honey!”
Feeling of distraught is completely erased, your body becomes filled with hope and vigor.
As you’re about to respond, “Finally, I have been waiting for a looong time.”, you see something’s not right.
There’s no girl.
Just a buffed, burly man who’s voice sounds like one…
You were supposed to lose your virginity today…
Might as well.
Just not the one you were hoping to…
Okay, story time’s over.
Don’t get me wrong, my mother’s no man, far from it, she’s a paradigm of beauty.
However, that’s an example of how someone can sound through the chat, or in my case, through the phone.
If I were to say how would it look like after my mother found me, it would be something along those lines.
“Jason, my baby, come here”
*creak* *break* *whoosh* *whoosh* *thud*
And other wonderful melodies that would coincidentally make a noise similar to the sound of breaking bones.
Then there would be grounding, I wouldn’t be able to live the mansion and live happily ever after with my overprotective mother.
I may not be the most outgoing person, nor do I like outside THAT MUCH, but hell, being stuck in one place is not good.
Especially with a tyrant next to you, one that you can’t really muster courage to disobey…
…
Unsteadily standing up, I made my way towards the fridge.
After quick preparations, I had sandwiches with ham and cheese made.
That and the freshly brewed tea.
*sip*
Aaah, I feel better now.
I have no idea why hot tea is calming me down, but it simply is.
Probably something with my psyche… or was it my parents that taught me this…?
*knock* *knock*
Seems like Bob and Shawn came over.
Opening the door, I saw my favorite blackie and driver outside.
Bob: We’re here sir. Are you ready?
Icicle: Not really. I still need to take a shower. Why don’t you two come in?
…
Making tea for my subordinates, I was about to head to the bathroom, when I heard Shawn speak up.
Shawn: I have to say, sir Underwood, you have me surprised. There is no way I would have imagined you living like this.
Really? I wonder why…
Icicle: How did you imagine me living then?
Shawn: Mansion or a large villa with garden, large pool in the front, one on the rooftop and a landing for helicopters next to it. As for interior, gold, diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds and all the other expensive gems adorning the walls. Expensive paintings, squeaky clean stone floor with chandeliers made of white crystals. Then there would be a huge aquarium, sauna, library, gym, study and few other rooms I would have no access to. Something along those lines.
Pfffft!
Icicle: Hahaha, you’ve just had an encounter with my mother, did you see any of that in the residence? It’s our main one, even there we don’t like this stuff. Being rich is fun, cool and all, but why would you endanger yourself to thieves? Just to brag to your friends? That’s dumb. What’s more, is that our family doesn’t really like luxury that much. We prefer living modestly with some additional benefits, like jacuzzi. It’s exactly what we love. Bubbles and hot water! To hell with the pool if we can have a jacuzzi!
Shawn: I see. *chuckle*. That sounds about right. As I would expect of an eccentric person like you, sir Underwood.
Here you guys go, heard it firsthand from my driver, I’m a peculiar, eccentric person…
A queer, huh…
Leaving the two to talk, I moved to the bathroom.
‘Calm me down’ – that was the thought I had while entering the shower cabin.
Hot water was indeed soothing, but it’s physical feeling, not psychological.
My emotions were still in a rattled state.
The story I thought of helped a little, but I was still shaken.
*sigh* I have to deal with these thoughts before I lose my sanity again…
Enjoying the wonders of the shower for a while, I realzed that there are two people waiting for me.
Putting my bathrobe on, I took a towel to dry my hair and walked out.
Instead of sipping tea peacefully, my two subordinates decided to have a house tour…
For fucks sake, who am I working with…
It feels even worse knowing that they were hand-picked by me…
Icicle: Enjoying the sightseeing …?
Bob: Indeed sir, I didn’t know you had such… tastes.
To be honest, neither did I.
There were flowers in a vase, put on a shelf that had books prior to these plants arrival.
I swear to God, I should have these cleaners hanged.
Icicle: I’m glad you’re having fun, Bob. How about you pay the cleaners who placed these miscellaneous things in my solitary dwelling, hmm?
*throb* *throb*
Feeling heat in my forehead’s area, I tried to calm down…
Breathe Jason, just breathe…!
Shawn: Don’t be like that, sir Underwood. These flowers fit the composition nicely. I think you should give a reasonable extra, that is the tip, to the cleaner. She was really thorough. What do you think, sir?
Giving me a wry smile, I understood Shawn’s intentions completely.
Icicle: That’s a great idea Shawn! You heard the man, Bob. You’ll even give an extra to the cleaner! What a joyful occasion to spend your money on!
Bob: U-Umm, sir, please, have mercy… You know I’m poor…
Icicle: Poor my ass, if we compare our earnings for the last two years and some, you’ve been earning at least 5 times what I did! And that’s counting the months when I actually had a large sale!
Bob: T-That may be true, boss, but compared to what you have, I don’t even have 0,001% of that!
I don’t think he has 0,0001%, but yeah, he’s right…
Fufufu, I can’t let such an occasion go though!
Icicle: Oh come on, Bob! Don’t be such a niggard…!
Bob: S-Sir, did you just call me the N word?!
I had to explain, while Shawn was clutching his stomach, laughing.
Icicle: NIGGARD, Bob. Not NIGGER. As in miser, skinflint, cheapskate. Can you understand my English properly now?
Bob: Y-Yes sir, sorry for jumping the gun…
Smothering my laughter was impossible.
Both me and Shawn started rolling on the clean floor, barely able to breathe.
Bob: W-What? You two…?! Fine, I’ll pay for this…! You got me.
Huh? Did Bob really say that? He’s a sore loser like me, no way he’d just accept that.
Nonetheless, after handing Bob the invoice, I stood up, still clutching my stomach, and followed him,
Icicle: Come on, Shawn, I need to lock the house. Hurry up.
Shawn: R-Right away sir. *laugh*
My hair was already dry, that’s the positive of having a shortly cut hair.
Getting downstairs, I saw Bob paying Mr.Peng.
Icicle: Good morning Mr. Peng. Isn’t your shift supposed to be over?
Mr. Peng: Good morning sir Grand. Indeed, it should be, however Johnson called, he’s sick, so I’m taking his shift until I find a replacement.
Icicle: I see. That’s really harsh. Did Bob pay you for the cleaning services you arranged?
Mr. Peng: He did. I didn’t know you were such a powerful man, sir Grand, Having two people in suits escorting you. That’s really something~.
Bob: You don’t understand, sir. All I’m doing is escorting these two gay people. Higher ups called, I simply couldn’t refuse that…
…did that blackie just call me gay?!
Icicle: I think we need to talk, Bob. *creak* *snap* I’m very sorry for confusing you, Mr. Peng. This blackie is so uneducated, I have constant troubles with him.
*whoosh*
Bob: Ughhh! S-Sir, I’m sorry, I was just getting back at you…!
*whoosh* *whoosh*
Bob: *cough* *cough* Seriously, that’s enough. I get it, okay! I apologize!
Three liver blows, huh?
That’s strange.
Back in the day, this blackie was barely able to stand upon receiving one liver blow, now he can withstand three?
Someone’s been training…
Or I’m getting wimpy…
Mr.Peng: Umm, not to be rude, sir, but I haven’t seen you with a girl. Can it be that, you’re really…?
Icicle: Yes, Mr.Peng, please, make me feel even worse, why won’t you? Not only am I single, but I need to be constantly reminded of that… Drive another wooden strake through my heart, come on…
Mr.Peng: Hahaha, don’t take it so personally, young man. You’re in your prime. There are a lot of conquests ahead of you! If you want advice, then listen to this old uncle! Don’t ever try to understand women! I’m getting old now, yet I still can’t grasp what they’re thinking!
Shawn: You heard that sir? Even your caretaker knows that you’re under the weather, fufufu.
These guys really want to get on my nerves today…
Icicle: How about I get you under the bridge, Shawn, hm?
Shawn: N-No thank you sir, I’m good.
Icicle: Sorry for disrupting the peace, Mr. Peng. We’ll be on our way.
Mr.Peng: No need to apologize, sir Grand, I had my fun as well!
Hurriedly leaving the premises, we jumped into the limo.
Icicle: You know, I should just get rid of both of you. Such tricksters and jokers, haha, really funny.
Bob: You’re as homophobic as ever, boss.
Icicle: So I’m the bad one for cherishing my anal virginity? Thanks, but I prefer overreacting than not doing enough.
Shawn: Ekhm. I don’t want to interrupt your pleasant gay talk, but could you tell me, sir, where are we headed? Bob said something about those policemen you have imprisoned. Is abandoned warehouse our destination?
Icicle: Yes it is. Let’s go get it over with, I’ve already missed like 12 days in game…
…
During the ride to the warehouse
Icicle: Did you tell my mother where I live?
Bob: No sir. To be honest, we were about to when you called. That was a great save.
Like I told you, my mother is pretty damn effective when she wants something.
That’s what I inherited.
The crazy domineering gene…
Icicle: Fair enough. Did you think of something to buy for Miranda?
Bob: N-No. That’s why I came to your mother, for help. After hearing me out, lady Underwood asked where did I get the money and then the whole questioning or should I say interrogation started.
Wait, what?
Icicle: Are you saying that my mother didn’t know about anything? And you basically telegraphed it to her? For fucks sake, blackie, you’re even more unlucky than me…
Bob: But I kept my mouth shut, so I can keep my manhood, right…? Right?
Icicle: Yes, yes, both of you can… maybe I should make you two gay for what you said today, hm?
Shawn: I’m sorry sir, but I don’t swing that way. Can’t vouch for Bob, but don’t get me involved in such matters.
Fufufu, let’s test if what Shawn says is true.
Icicle: How about that Shawn. If you take it up the ass I’ll give you 500 thousand dollars. Will you do it?
Shawn: Of course, that’s a lot of money. I’ll put up with it if it’s only once.
Bob; Gay.
Icicle: Definitely gay.
I saw Shawn’s face in the rear-view mirror.
Bob: Move some more.
Icicle: There’s no more space, you birdbrain.
Shawn: Why are you two getting so far away from me?
Icicle: I treasure my ass.
Bob: So do I.
Shawn: What?! That’s half a million! What, don’t tell me you two wouldn’t do it?
Icicle: Of course not. I have enough cash, even if I didn’t, unless I was a fucking homeless, gangbanged guy or under heavy influence of drugs and alcohol, I would never do that.
Bob: I have a lovely wife, can’t defile my body for mere 500 thousand. Even if it were 5 million, I wouldn’t do that. Cash is supposed to be spent, but the experience would always linger inside me. What can five hundred grand give me that will ease this shameful experience, huh?
Shawn: Trust me, you can get so many girls for 500k, that you don’t have to be gay for the rest of your life. What does it hurt to go with the flow just once?
Jesus, I’m getting sick.
Bob: For you it wouldn’t be so terrible. I know being gay, even marrying one another is legal and all, but for fucks sake, Shawn, you’re white. Do you know how it feels to be black and gay? People living in my neighbourhood would hang me on the nearest tree!
Shawn: Isn’t that what they do with monkeys…?
Holy shit, that burn…
Bob: Now you’re being racist, huh? Following our dear leader, aren’t you? Tell me, Shawn, as a part of a jewish community, do you know how jewish people left the concentration camp?
Shawn: Through the gate…?
Bob: No, you dumbass, through the chimney.
That was too much.
Interrupting my defense system was one thing, but making me laugh was the other.
Bob: See, even boss laughs, that was a good racist joke!
Shawn: Touche. What are two black people on a bike then?
Bob: Cyclists?
Shawn: No, organized crime.
Icicle: Hahahahaha! Okay guys, that’s enough. *laugh* I need to get to the warehouse. You can duke it out with your fists or sharp comments when we’re there.
Bob&Shawn: Understood sir.
Jesus, if they start joking like that I won’t be able to restrain myself!
Yes guys, I’m a wicked person, laughing at blacks, jews, white people, muslims, at everyone.
Even at myself.
I probably have way too much distance when it comes to these matters.
Bob and Shawn were still glaring daggers at each other.
I don’t think they are racist, it’s more of a contest.
“Who’s the better subordinate” or some shit.
Don’t expect me to know, I’m no contender.
…
Arriving at the warehouse, I told Shawn to wait in the car.
Bob followed me, I needed his “assistance”.
*creak*
These rookies were supposed to oil the door…
Icicle: Hello gentlemen. How are we doing?
Rookies: S-Sir Underwood. We’re fine, how are you sir?
Icicle: I’m well, thank you. Please fix this door like I told you to.
Rookies: Of course sir, we are currently waiting for the lubricant.
Icicle: Jesus, just use some oil. Anything will do…
Gesturing Bob to follow me, I gave him all the recording devices.
At the other side of the building, there was a trapdoor.
No one would be able to find it, unless they crossed the forest leading to the south side of the warehouse, which would be a weird path to take.
Opening the trapdoor, I walked inside alongside Bob.
Iron cages, visibly rusty, stench of mold, piss and… defecation.
Lovely.
Moving through the brown floor tiles of the underground prison, I saw six policemen.
Icicle: Hello there ladies, how are you?
Harry: Let me out! I can’t survive here any longer! Pleaseee!
Andy: What are you here for, brat? And this set of clothes, trying to act normal, huh? Don’t worry, this will haunt your conscience for your entire lifetime.
Wow, that sounds like an upperclassman giving me advice.
Should I thank him…?
Icicle: Thanks for the heads up, Andy. It’s good to know for someone like me, who has no one on his conscience…
Paul: Oi kid, what are you planning on doing with us? Don’t tell me we’re supposed to die of starvation here!
Isn’t that an interesting idea?
Icicle: Hmmm…. that’s a nice thought, but I would have to trouble my guys to move you, then bury your decaying remains. That’s too much work.
Terrence: You’re fucked up man… keeping us here for no reason whatsoever!
Icicle: Why did you keep beating me in prison then? Let me guess, chief of police ordered you to? That’s convenient.
Terrence: Hahaha, of course not. We beat you because it was fun. Watching a scrub like you squirm. That’s all there is to it!
Scrub… wow.
Icicle: That’s a good answer. You won’t mind me playing some music, right?
Nate: bwwahwah qwfwq!
Icicle: Can someone translate? I have no idea what is this language.
Andy: If you hadn’t broken his jaw, you wouldn’t have this problem.
Oh right, poor guy…
Icicle: Anyways, here’s something for you.
“Hi Andy, how are you? We all hope you’re well. Mister Grand was kind enough to tell us about the training course you’re going through. Don’t worry. Our family understands, we’ve informed even the distant relatives. When you’re done, whether you pass or fail, we’ll hold a celebration party. Stay strong, love you, mom.”
Isn’t that touching?!
Andy: Y-You were in my house?! I’ll kill you, you little-!
Icicle: There’s more, so shut up.
“Harry, it’s me, dad. I’ve always thought of you as of a rascal. To be honest, even more than that, I thought you were useless. I have no idea what you have done, my miserable son, but you’ve struck gold. Use this chance, embrace it, and make sure you pass. Father’s proud of you. Take care.”
Harry: D-Dad…
…
Icicle: Alright then, now to the main event.
Paul: Don’t think I’ll believe you! Come on, amuse me boy!
Icicle: You know, before I start, I have to tell you something… Your wife will be what, 30 this year? That’s really young. Entering your house, I thought of using chloroform and then getting it on with her once she wakes up. But for some reason, I didn’t… She was just so kind, I simply couldn’t do it… After some time, we’ve got to know each other, and as it happens she was… sexually frustrated. Poor girl, you didn’t give her any…
Paul: Y-You!
Icicle: So, after getting it on with Jannet, lovely name by the way, we had a very hot, steamy affair.
Paul: Hmph,*snort* lies!
Icicle: Here you go.
*click*
“Ahhhhh, honey! I’m so sorry for doing this, but it feels so good! This young man’s penis is so much harder than yours! Not to mention the length, ohhhhhhhhhhhh! I’m peeing myself just after he entered me. Ohhhh, ahhhh!”
I probably should’ve asked Jannet for any special marks, like moles or something, but who cares, this recording should be enough.
It’s not like Paul’s that smart anyway…
Looking around, even his fellow comrades popped a boner.
Jannet, I salute to you, you’re real master temptress.
“Huff, huff. What, are you done young man? There are still other… crevices you can use. Fufufufu. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You didn’t even use lube! How mean!…”
Paul: TURN IT OFF! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
Hmm, he was able to endure only… 5 minutes?
There are 15 minutes left, I guess these will be used for some other time.
Icicle: So, with that, I’ll end today’s hearing. I hope you’re all enjoying your time on this… training camp. Fufufufufu.
Leaving the underground, I felt my little guy tingling.
Now I understand why Bob wanted to go back, even if it was only for a second…
Damn, Jannet, you’re one fine gal…
…
Inside the prison cells, warehouse’s underground.
Andy: You’ve never told us you have such a… promising wife.
Harry: Exactly, why didn’t you share such a slut with us?
Terrence: I have to say, even I’m interested.
Paul: Are you guys not hungry anymore? Shut your traps. I’m already pissed off. There’s no need for you to make me fall into rage even further…
Andy: Oh come on, you’re like what, 56? How could you get a woman almost half your age! And these sweet moans, I bet she has a great ass!
Harry: Hey Andy, how about getting a piece of her once we leave?
Paul: Do you guys really have a death wish?
Andy&Harry: Of course not, we’re just kidding, relax…
Terrence: You’re awfully silent, Will. Don’t tell me you’re a snitch.
Will: What am I supposed to tell you? I winded up here because I went to bust that stupid kid. I didn’t even know that it’s a fake bust. Now I’m starving in some godforsaken place without much future prospects. My fiance will kill me for this…
Paul: Kill you? Hahaha, didn’t you hear what she said? She’s cheering you on, dumbass.
Will: You’re such an idiot, Paul. That’s why your wife is cuckolding you. For fucks sake, when women say “good luck honey” they mean “get your ass back here or I’ll make you another hole in your rectum”, do you get it now? At least that’s what mine always means…
Paul: Mmmm, that would ceirtainly explain some of Jannet’s behaviours…
Will: Who the fuck am I friends with…
…
Walking up to the caretaker’s office, I saw three rookies watching TV.
These little bastards, they even have a portable one here…
Icicle: Here’s what you’re gonna do with these guys for the next 6 days. Two more days of starvation, no water, no toilet breaks, anything. Then there’s the feeding time. First get a glass of water, release them from their cells, of course still cuffed, and have them fight for it. After they’re done, bring in the food. Get some mexican beans and everything else that induces heavy farting. They’re not supposed to breathe fresh air. After you’re done with that, add some laxatives to the next meals. Their bowels are supposed to evacuate.
Rookies: Umm, sir, these are clear and all, but how are we supposed to endure the stench?
Icicle: You have gas masks, don’t you?
Rookies: Yes sir, we do.
Icicle; Good. To make this more enjoyable, have them recorded. Give them a toilet break or anything, just get them out of there, and get hidden cameras placed. Once you’re done , get this Will guy and offer him fresh set of clothes, shower and so on. He’s supposed to look like a snitch to the rest of them. He didn’t beat me, so we may as well go easy on him. From time to time, get him here and let him read papers or watch TV with you. Make sure he’s cuffed. Don’t tell him anything either. If my identity leaks, you’re all as good as dead. Are we clear?
Rookies: Yes sir.
Icicle: Here’s the recording for Paul. I expect you won’t listen to it. If you do… well. it will end bloody. Larry, you’ll be the one to play it day after day, 5 minutes each. to Paul. There are fifteen minutes left. You’re the leader here, Larry, don’t let me down. If you need more people you’re authorized to call them on my behalf.
Larry: Understood, have a nice day, sir Underwood.
When we were outside, Bob asked me a simple question.
Bob: Did you really need my assistance? All I did was hold these goddamn recording devices!
Icicle: What, you don’t like being my caddy?
Bob: This ain’t no golf, sir.
Icicle: Stop complaining Bob. This work is a piece of cake compared to what we had to do 5 years ago…
Bob: You’re right, I’m sorry sir. Seems like these clear images started to fade…
Icicle: No biggie. Let’s go, your challenger awaits.
…
During my way back, Bob and Shawn continued their “who’s the best racist subordinate” or whatever challenge.
I was supposed to be a judge.
After 30 minutes of chuckling, I couldn’t really laugh anymore, so I told these two to handle it themselves.
My thoughts drifted to Loiterous.
There were few people who wanted to kill me as we speak.
Princess Saress is definitely pissed off for ditching her like this, she even had some news to share with me…
Then there’s my sister…
*sigh* Not to mention, the scariest one… sugar addict Nyu.
This furball probably had hypoglycemia.
I simply can’t see her existing without sugar anymore.
Oh well, the system is supposed to take care of my familiars while I’m gone, maybe it won’t be that bad.
Wait, system?
So I could log off for a second and my familiars would be full?!
SHIT! I missed an obvious exploit…!
Whatever, it’s not like I’m in need of gold.
I hope these twerps in the dungeon are training hard, otherwise I’ll have to school them once again!
Being restless like that, I felt the car stopping.
We were at my place.
Shawn: Haha, I won, you monkey!
Bob: You wish, “Ash”.
Icicle: Oi, you twerps, shut up, both of you. I have something to say.
Bob: What is it, boss?
Icicle: If something major happens in the company, let me know. Otherwise, I’m supposed to be off the radar. I’ll call my mother often so she stays off you. Am I fully understood?
Bob: Please, sir, I have been texting and mailing you about everything that has transpired so far. No need to get so uptight. I’ll let you know, don’t worry.
Icicle: Good. One more thing. Stop trying to decide who’s the racist. I am one and that’s enough. Now, off you go.
*shoo* *shoo*
Gesturing with my hand, I tried to act serious.
Shawn: What a tyrant… *sob*
Bob: Can’t you let us have a little fun too?
Icicle: Fun? You’re telling me that calling me gay was not fun enough…?
When my hands started balling into fists, suddenly, Shawn drove away.
I guess it was enough entertainment for these two.
At least for today.
…
Getting into my house, I stuffed myself with toasts, drank a lot of water, took care of my physiological needs and headed to bed.
When I finally found a comfortable position on the mattress, I wore the VR helmet and logged into Loiterous.
Here we go, suffering awaits…!
After this thought, I blacked out.
NPC: Before you enter, dear player, you’re supposed to read this update announcement. To make sure you’re not skipping this, we will monitor you reading it out loud. If you’re mute by any chance, please select appropriate option down below.
So that’s why it’s both in text and in speech…
This female voice, is it the one I heard when I was creating my character?
Okay, what do we have here…
Rebirth Online World 