Isekai Ryouridou First Chapter part 1

Damn 2000 words on the first part.

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moaaaar!!! I want Moaaaar!!

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Unagi on 26 December 2015 at 3:40 PM said:

Lol calm down snow. i was halfway through reading chapter 2.

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- Kiko Dai Yevgeny on 26 December 2015 at 4:37 PM said:
  
  hahaha
  
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　 ∧ ∧
　(๑•̀ᴗ- )✩
┏━〇〇━━━━┓
┃Thanks! Nepu!!┃
┗┳┳━━━┳┳┛
　┗┛　　　┗┛

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I came for the blond in the illustrations stayed to see if we get another Satou. Looking forward to more, Thanks!

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I don’t know if this is right or not, just ignore it if you think it’s absurd..

somehow manages -> somehow manage (because the subject is still I)
… ,i get yup slowly -> …, I get up slowly
I rise my knee and arrange my posture -> I raise my knee and arrange my posture
Then…that guy, abruptly appear -> Then…that guy, abruptly appears
That thing which looks like a 90 Kg gigantic figure, looks like a four legged wild boar. -> That thing which looks like a 90 Kg gigantic figure, is similar to a four legged wild boar.
Limb is short, only thigh is thick. -> Its limbs are short with an additional thickness on its thighs.
When it leer and kick the ground with its hind leg -> When it leers and kicks the ground with its hind legs
… ,i dive from head to the ground -> …, I fell with my head first to the ground
…, and with the momentum, immediately run! -> …, and with the momentum, I can immediately run!
When i put weight.. -> When I put weight on my feet..
…, but it seems to be dim than a while ago, -> …, but it seems to be dim if compared to a while ago,
It’s too much worst that i laughed -> It’s too worst that I started to laugh it off

and there are also a lot of i in the translation, though they are supposed to be I..

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huntATnight on 26 December 2015 at 4:46 PM said:

Oh, btw your translation is so good, and almost no need to have a large amount of editing on it..
Keep up the good work..
Thanks for the translation..

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- hayashimoritan on 26 December 2015 at 5:07 PM said:
  
  You should apply to be an editor, mr. Grammar Nazi HuntATnight. Hahhaha, I would’ve offered again but I’ve got my hands full already with Sefiria, ROW and MoD. 😀
  
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  - huntATnight on 27 December 2015 at 1:45 AM said:
    
    ahahahahhah..
    Thanks for your words senpai, I have applied though, but I dont know which one still need an editor..
    And also mine is still lacking if compared with your choice of words, so how can you arrange such a good sentence? Can you teach me? Onegai senpai.. xD
    
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    - hayashimoritan on 27 December 2015 at 9:55 AM said:
      
      I’m quite sure this story is still lacking an editor, since our editors kinda come and go. At least your grammar is plenty great and fancy words? Pffft, that’s what thesauruses are for.
      You could probably offer to be an editor to Unagi by simply trading emails. That’s how we usually do it here anyway. That is if you still want to. 😀
      
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      - snowfallsdown on 27 December 2015 at 11:48 AM said:
        
        We got some applying to be editor but still in picking process.. Xp.
        
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      - huntATnight on 27 December 2015 at 2:28 PM said:
        
        Thanks for the praising, xD..
        Yeah, I need to have more fancy words for these kinds of novels, so, did you buy any dictionaries for it? or just used the one on the internet?
        Yeah, I would be delighted to be an editor for him, but I need to have his consent first..
        
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        hayashimoritan on 27 December 2015 at 6:51 PM said:
        
        I’m using the thesaurus that’s available on my mac since I can’t be bothered to open books. On phone I usually just google “word synonyms/antonyms” to pretty-fy my sentences. Well, there’re lotsa stuff here that needs editing (side effect of writers who aren’t native english speakers, local grammar gets carried over, although I know some who speak perfect English yet write weird…). Though nothing an editor can’t fix.
        
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        huntATnight on 28 December 2015 at 1:15 AM said:
        
        Thanks for the information, I will try to use it for beautifying the words..
        I hope for your guidance in the future, if you don’t mind with it though.. xD
        
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        hayashimoritan on 28 December 2015 at 10:46 AM said:
        
        Hahahaha, if there’s anything just ask. Whatever I can help you with, I will. :>
        And I’ll be supervising you and Visu for the time being.
        
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- Unagi on 26 December 2015 at 6:36 PM said:
  
  Thanks for the fix xD. Will fix it after i finish pt2
  
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  - huntATnight on 27 December 2015 at 1:50 AM said:
    
    You’re welcome dude..
    Maybe I’ll try to help you with some corrections for the next chapters, because I still have a lot of time until my next term started..
    Thank you for the understanding and I hope you can bear with my next comments.. xD
    
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    - Unagi on 27 December 2015 at 6:53 PM said:
      
      Roger that xD Thanks again.
      
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