Rebirth Online World

It was utter silence around me…

‘Am i dead?’

But i could still feel my body…

‘Ah… I am alive…’

I woke up in daze…

As i opened my eyes slowly, my mind was muddled by fright and uncertainty…

‘What have happened to me? Did i faint again?’

I looked around me. I was in the tent again, faint light of fire was seen form outside. An orange tiger blanket was covering me, and under my body was the orange tiger leather that i saw back on the river.

‘Th-this tiger leather bed….,’ i was shocked as i remembered about what i imagined that afternoon.

‘What did he do to me?!’ i was frightened.

I started to check my own body.

I rubbed my own face. ‘Nothing changed on my face’

Then i take a look over my body. ‘I am still wearing my shirt’

Finally i lifted the blanket up, then my mind came to a halt…

My eyes opened wide as i was shocked beyond belief, ‘Wh-where is my trouser? Why am i wearing a skirt right now? D-don’t tell me…’

“Hiks..hiks…” I sobbed slowly as i imagined about what could have happened when i fainted.

‘H-he did it to me on this bed….’ I jumped out of the bed and went to the corner of the tent. I squeezed myself there and my tear was slowly going out from the corner of my eyes.

“Uuuuuuuuuu…,” i started to cry at the corner of the tent.

‘Why would this happen to me? I-it was my first time…’

“Uuuuu……..uuaaaaaaaa….,” i wailed harder and harder.

Then suddenly the tent’s entrance was opened.

Z crawled into the tent with a candle on his hand. “A-are you okay?” said Z to me.

My tear stopped because of fear.

He put down the candle on the edge of the tent, then he moved slowly to me.

I squeezed my self harder to the corner of the tent to avoid him.

‘I-is he going to do that to me again??’ i thought to myself as i covered my head with both of my hand, so he couldn’t see me and i wouldn’t see him.

“S-sakura…,” he said to me slowly.

“Hii..no!! Please don’t hurt me anymore…hiks…” I sobbed and trembled in fear.

“I didn’t do anything to you! I swear!!” he shouted to me.

‘H-he lied!!! He did that to me and doesn’t even admit it!! Where is my trouser if he didn’t do that to me?!’ i felt angry and ashamed.

“Y-you beast!! You defiled me and you didn’t even want to admit it!!” i said as i glared at him with contempt.

He looked shocked…

‘See! I was right!! His reaction said it all!’

He looked down, frowned a bit, then he looked at me with a slightly angry face.

“Am i really that low in your mind? Making a move on a fainted girl??”

I just glared at him in silence. My body shivered harder as i saw his angry face, and my tear started to pour out again.

“Please listen to me!”

I shook my head and closed my ear with both of my hand. I just can’t trust him anymore.

“Uuuugh… I swear to you right now, in the name of Astraea-sama, that i didn’t taint a single bit of your body. So Please listen to me!” he shouted at me.

I still shook my head and shouted back at him, “I don’t want to hear anything anymore from you! You beast!!”

“Uuugh…so i really am that low in your mind…” He threw his face down, but i could see that he was gnashing his teeth and frowning his face in anger.

But then his face suddenly changed back to neutral. He stared up straight to my face and said, “If you won’t listen to me, then i can only show it to you.”

Then he smiled and said, “[Storage]”

He took out a shortsword with his right hand. He spun it around, and made a pose of stabbing downward.

“Wh-what are you doing?! A-are you going to kill me???!!!” i shouted at him. My body shivered really hard, and my tear flew down like a river.

He just kept smiling at me. “Do you remember back then when you had a nightmare? When you hugged me, I told you that i will protect you, i really mean that…”

STAB

He stabbed down onto his left hand. And his pinky finger flew near my right foot. He cut his own finger in front of me.

My mind went blank. My mouth gaped in shock.

“Will you listen to what i want to say now?” he said to me as he kept smiling at me. His face turned slowly into ashen white, beads of sweat started to flow down on his forehead. The edge of his lip was bleeding as he bit it hard to hold the pain from his left hand.

He kept smiling as the place, where his finger was, bled hard onto the blanket under him.

I couldn’t say anything, i couldn’t think of any reason why he did that. I was just utterly shocked. Thirty seconds passed. But for the confused me, it was just a blink of an eye.

Then he said to me, “Very well then…” He lifted the sword upwards once again. Then…

STAB

Now his ring finger flew to me.

‘Why??? Why did he do this??’

“Are you satisfied now? Will you listen to me?” he asked me again with the same smile on his face.

“A..i…no..,” i just blabbed my mouth in confusion.

He tilted his head and said, “No? So be it…” Then he lifted the sword again.

“NOOOOO!!! STOP IT!!!” i screamed at him and covered his bleeding left hand.

“That was dangerous you know… to jump under a sword,” he said to me as he lifted me with his right hand and then hugged me.

I didn’t try to struggle from his embrace. I trusted him. He had cut his own fingers just to make me listen to him. There is no way he would do that if he lied to me.

“I will trust you…so stop it…,” i said to him.

“I told you, don’t trust someone you just met… I just want to tell you the real story that happened this afternoon…,” he said to me slowly.

“I understand. I won’t trust anyone i just met, but i will trust you. So stop speaking and let me take care of your hand.” I pushed his body down to the blanket. He still smiled in pain and stared at me.

Itried to rip my own sleeve but it was too hard. I was confused but then i saw his bloodstained sword beside him. I opened my own shirt, took the sword, and cut the right sleeve. I didn’t care anymore if he saw my naked body, i just want to hurry and bandage his hand before he lost too much blood.

After i bandaged his hand, i put back my shirt on and looked at his condition. His face lost its color already, he had fever and breathed heavily. He already lost too much blood. Half of the orange colored blanket under him had already turned into blood red.

Then i looked around and saw his two cutted finger near my feet, it lied there motionless, pale white with no more blood flowing out. I took it with my hand and grasped it tight. I looked onto his left hand. There was only three finger left there…

I cried…

“I’m sorry Z… i’m sorry….”

‘I-if only i listened to him earlier…he would only lost one finger. No!! If only i listened to him without first speculating anything strange!! He wouldn’t have lost any finger!!’

I wailed at my stupidity…

Then i felt a hand wiped my tear. I opened my eyes, and saw him caressing my right cheek with his left hand. “Don’t cry… It’s not like i am dead…, it’s only two finger…, nothing much! Maybe it will grow after a night sleep..,” he joked to me with trembling voice.

I let my body fell down and hugged him…

“Uuuuuu…” I hugged him and cried…

He stroked my head slowly over and over as he whispered to me, “Sakura…sorry that i broke our promise to pick vegetables together…”

‘So he remembered…’

“I even brought you a magical core as an apologize… so don’t cry anymore ok…[Storage]”

He took a blood red magical core and put it into my hand.

I looked up to see his face. “Z you stupid…hiks…i am not a kid anymore… hiks,” i said to him while sobbing. He just smiled and stroked my head.

“I really wanted to go with you back then, but i needed to protect you first. I had to go kill a Magical beast that was going on our direction. It was my fault too because i lied to you.”

I silently listened to him.

“I didn’t know what you were imagining. But at the riverside, i felt a Magical beast’s mana on your side so i got scared that something had happened to you. Without even thinking anything i ran to your side. But then you were there safe and sound. I realized that i mistook the Magical beast’s mana for the mana from the Magical beast’s core that i gave you. I felt relieved that i even forgot that i was naked. I’m sorry about showing you something unsightly.”

My cheeks reddened as i remembered about what i saw.

But then i felt sad again. My tears started to fall down onto his chest.

‘From the beginning… He had just wanted to protect me, that’s all…but i…i…didn’t even try to trust him…’

“You lost two fingers because of me…. I am sorry Z…,” i said it to him as i bit my lip in regret.

“No… i lost two fingers because i lied to you…” He shook his head slowly as he rubbed my cheek.

My heart quivered. ‘I did all of that, and he still won’t blame me…’

I didn’t know what to do now. My mind was muddled with guilt and sadness.

I thought for a while then stared at him…

The man i just knew two days ago…

The man that gave me his clothes and lent me his one and only robe when i just came here…

The man that taught me about this world when i knew nothing…

The man that gave me his food, and lent me his sleeping place when i had nothing…

The man that waited for me the whole night when i cried….

The man that always worried about me when i was sad….

The man that protected me even when i didn’t see him…

The man that sacrificed himself with only a word from me…

And i didn’t even try to trust him, to understand him, to know his real self…

I trembled…

I hate myself for my naivety and stupidity…

Eventhough Astraea-sama already said that i can trust him…but i…

Is it already too late for me…?

Can i still receive his kindness…?

I braved myself to ask him, “Z…do you…hate me now?”

He looked surprised but then immediately shook his head and said, “I never am, and never will…”

I felt unprecented happiness in my heart…

I crawled my body up until my face was straight in front of him. There was only a single finger distance between us. I could feel his breath, and he could feel mine. My tear dropped one by one onto his face.

I saw a trail of blood on the edge of his lips and thought, ‘How much pain did he have to bear until he bit his lip that hard…’

I stared at his eyes…only at this close can i see them…

His eyes were deep blue…as blue as the sea…as calming as the sky…

We stared at each other’s eye for a long time…

Then i asked him, “Z…will you please tell me your real name?”

“Zedediah…Zedediah Knightley…,” he said to me as he smiled.

“Zedediah…,” i said to him slowly as i licked the trail of blood on his face and kissed the edge of his lips.

My first kiss tasted like blood, but my heart was satisfied and happy…

I woke up and put out the candle…

Then i crawled back down onto him and rested my head on his chest…

He was motionless for a while…

Then he put his hand on my back and the other hand stroked my head gently over and over again…

I felt the warmth of his body enveloping me…

I closed my eyes and fell asleep on him…

——————————

She already fell asleep over my body…

I stroked her head gently with my right hand and hugged her body tighter with my left hand. The pain on my finger is not there anymore. All i could feel is the warmth of her body on me.

I lift my left hand in front of my eyes and stared on the places where my fingers were.

‘Two fingers…, i cutted two fingers to make her want to listen to me…’

‘Why though? Why didn’t i just wait until she is calmer?’ i asked myself.

Then i realized…

‘So it’s like that… I already love her so much, that it pains my heart to be hated by her for even a second…. What a foolish reason…’ i mocked myself.

I looked at her sleeping face. ‘Since when though?’ i frowned a little.

I remembered the time she fell from the sky…

The time she was mad at me…

The time when her eyes glittered like the stars…

The time she acted cutely to come down from the roof…

The time we spent gazing the night…

The time we joked together over the carriage…

The time she sulked at me…

I smiled as i remembered everything that happened these two days. I stroked her head softly as i thought to myself, ‘She only needed two days to make me love her this much…’

Then i tried to remember about tonight, ‘Two fingers that i gave her… led to lots of things…’

I remembered her worried face, her body’s silhouette when she bandaged me, her hug, her tears, her eyes and her breath when she stayed in front of me, her voice when she said my name, and her kiss…

Her kiss…

Her tear tasted kiss…

The feelings of it still lingered on the edge of my lips…

My body shivered, my heart beat faster and faster…

The feeling of her soft body over me sipped slowly deep onto my bone…

I couldn’t stop my lust from controlling my mind…

My adrenalines pumped straight into my brain…

I couldn’t stop myself hugging her tighter to my body as i imagined myself making love to her…

Then the last straw had been drawn as i remembered the moment she licked the edge of my lips while whispering my name…

‘No! I can’t do this!! I love her!!! I can’t do this to her!! I won’t betray her trust!!!!’ I bit my lips to temporary control myself.

I let her lied down on the leather bed beside me.

“Unghh…” she frowned in her sleep.

I sat up then pulled the clean part of the blanket over her. I caressed her cheek and stroked her hair gently. Then i crawled out of the tent.

I strengthen the distance of my [Mana Web] from 1 km around the camp to over 50 km around me. The high grade magical beasts started to run into my direction as they wanted to eat this delicious source of mana, the medium grade magical beatsts stood in wary, and the low grade started to run away.

’10 medium grade, 5 high grade….’

I ran to them…

One by one….

I punched through them to control my excited brain…

I stomped over them to burn out my adrenaline…

I ripped their core apart to quench my desire…

I bathed in their blood to cool myself down…

And when they all died, i searched for more, further and deeper into the forest…

I rampaged thorough the night to forget about my thirst of her…

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