Following Jannet into her house, I was handed the recording device.
Icicle: You don’t mind me checking the content, do you?
Jannet: I-If you must…
What is she so embarassed for?
“AAAHHHHHH, honey help me! DEAR, PLEASEEEEEEEEE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
Okay, that was some quality screaming… let’s fastforward.
“I’m sorry dear, it just feels so good! OHHHHH, AHHHHHH! I’M CUMMING!”
Bob and I exchanged looks, both of us visibly disturbed.
Icicle: A-Are you sure this is going to convince your husband it’s rape? It sounded more like you’re enjoying it…
Jannet: I know my husband better than you do. If you just raped me, he would like to exact vengeance. You said so yourself, his consciensce has to be clear. This recording will make him really, really mad. Me actually enjoying this kind of stuff. Now get out before neighbours think of something weird. Shoo shoo!
Closing the door behind us, Jannet walked off pompously..
Giving Bob another look, I asked shyly.
Icicle: When you and Miranda do it, does she shout so much…?
Bob: No, she doesn’t…
Icicle: Do you think it’s your fault or it’s just that this woman is kinky…?
Bob: Her husband is most likely hen-pecked. And boy, she sure seems thirsty…
Icicle: Let me guess, you would like to go back there and taste the real deal?
Bob: W-What, of course not! I’m not willing to die just because some cute blond started moaning…
Icicle: Oh come on, Bob, Miranda isn’t so scary, is she?
Bob: I’ll tell you what, Jason. There are three people in this world that I’m afraid of. First place, undeniably, takes your mother, miss Underwood. She’s just something else. I can’t even utter a word in her presence. Then there’s my wife, Miranda, who somehow got in touch with your mom… so yeah, I guess it’s miss Underwood’s influence. Then there’s you. Is it clear to you now?
Hmmm, that sounds reasonable.
Icicle: Alright Bob, I understand your peril. Let’s go, there are other families to inform.
We were driving towards the 4th family, when certain idea crossed my mind.
‘I should visit that kid in the hospital…’
Icicle: Bob, find out where Henry Sanders is hospitalized. I want to pay him a visit after we’re done with this shit.
Icicle: While we’re on that subject, how’s the PR team doing?
Bob: They’re ready to announce the training course in the news whenever we tell them to.
Something’s going good for me… it’s a christmas miracle.
Icicle: Good, let’s go public with that after we’re done with the last three families.
Bob: Very well.
Am I missing something…?
Oh right, the money for the lawyer.
Icicle: Did you get the money for the lawyer?
Bob: I did.
Icicle: Whose account did you withdraw it from?
Bob: Mine. Yours has like 16 passwords not to mention iris and fingerprint scanner… Seriously, why did you even use iris recognition…?
Icicle: I have some money there… There are always people that want to hack your account when you get substantial amount of money.
Bob: Yeah, “some”, there are at least a few billions out there…
Bob made an airquote while saying this.
Truth be told, there are at least a few hundred billions there…
Icicle: What, you want some? I don’t mind sharing.
Bob: I’m not that stupid. The last thing I want to do, is to endanger my family because of some unnecessary payout. I already live comfortably, no need to go over the top.
Icicle: Good thinking Bob. That’s exactly why you’re my number one bodyguard, fufufu.
Bob: Umm, sir, I’ve been wondering…
Icicle: Stop trying to act so shy and spit it out, Bob. No point pretending to be timid…
Bob: Haha, you got me sir. Well then, what I want to know, is how have you managed to earn a living throughout these past two years and some. There was no money missing from the company, your personal account wasn’t touched either. No one has registered you as a worker… What exactly were you doing…?
Why is that blackie giving me such a suspicious look…?
Fuck you, Bob. Thinking that I’m some kind of a…
I’m so gonna play you!
Icicle: You know, that’s not something I am proud of…
Bob: Come on, tell me. I had to tell you about me and my wife although it’s a private matter.
I tried to act as shyly as I could. not that I’m very good at it.
Icicle: Going on the streets every day, taking your clothes off… that kind of stuff.
Bob: Hmm, that kinky stuff done at midnight, huh… It would be more believable if you said that you were announced as the next pope. Tell me what you really did, Jason.
Yup, my acting was horrible.
Icicle: Can’t even let me play with you a little… what a party pooper. I was playing games, Bob. Collecting various rare items and selling them online. It was a boring, repetitive grind. No joy there, just a tedious, senseless work. Kill some pixels, collect the loot, make sure you can survive the other day…
Bob: So you were playing games, huh? That must have been hard, not many people buy items online.
Icicle: Hahaha, of course not. You have to be better than others to stay in the game. Otherwise your shit won’t sell. Not many people who bought the items know about it, but I’ve killed a lot of individuals who crossed me in these games… they had a lot of loot, you know? Loot so good, that when I sold it, I had enough to survive for a couple of months.
Bob: Now that’s more like it. I can totally see you being a predator in games. Not to mention you were out of our radar…
Shawn: Sorry to interrupt you, sir, but we’ve arrived at your destination.
Icicle: Stop pondering on useless things. You can’t track someone like me down if I wish to not be found. That’s just how it is. Let’s go.
Dealing with all six families took some time.
*sigh* Informing people about their loved ones really takes a toll on me.
They’re just so worried that something may happen, that you constantly need to reassure them that everything will turn out okay.
There’s the sleep deprivation too…
Icicle: *yawn* Tell the PR team to do their job.
Bob: Yes sir.
Finally done with gathering greeetings from policemens’ families, I had to take care of the lawyer and my turned upside down apartment, before I can finally put this shit behind me, at least for today.
Sending Bob to deliver five grand to my lawyer, Joe Anderson, I used my subordinate’s phone to log into my bank account.
Sixteen passwords. Every single one minimum 15 characters long.
Then there’s the fingerprint scan and iris scan.
During the last ten years, these iris and fingerprint scans for phones are two of the very few things lab monkeys made right.
Other contraptions are just useless shit no one really needs, yet people still buy it because of advertisement… *sigh*
Well, there’s Loiterous, maybe most of the 140 IQs’ used their brains to create that.
Speaking of Loiterous, I start to miss Eshel.
His advice would really help me out while dealing with these police scrubs.
Oh well, at least I don’t have to feed this sugar addict for a while…
*sigh* For some unknown to me reason I miss that fluffy fluff furball too.
Something just doesn’t feel right when I look at my shoulder and there’s nothing, no weight no adorable little creature…
Maybe I’m getting too emotional…
Bob was near the car when I glanced at the supposed law firm of Joe Anderson.
I saw Joe “secretly” looking at my direction.
It’s not like he could have seen me, as I was in the limousine, but he has definitely figured out who his benefactor is.
Opening the door for Bob, I waved to Joe, only to see him take a few steps back.
These kind of approaches weren’t alien to me.
Many individuals did so in the past.
Who knows, maybe I’m just a scary, imposing, baring fangs Big Bad Wolf…
Pressing five buttons on Bob’s phone, I made sure to send the payment to his bank account.
Icicle: Here you go, Bob.
Checking his account’s status, Bob’s eyes almost popped out.
Bob: W-Why? Why did you wire transfer me 50 thousand dollars?!
Right, that’s a huge deal to him…
To my current self too, but to the old one it’s nothing more than change.
Icicle: Let me see… 5 thousand to reimburse you. Another 5 for bailing me out…
Bob: And the 40 thousand?!
Icicle: You have two kids now, don’t you? I have no idea how much upbringing costs, so just to make sure you have enough, I gave you another 40 grand.
Bob: I-It’s too much, I’ll send it back to you!
Icicle: Stop it, Bob. Now that you have a handsome blackie born, he can at least have a decent education. Don’t make me embarassed by sending it back. If you do, I’ll have your head delivered to me on the silver platter. I’m not kidding, Bob. Take it, buy Miranda some present, doesn’t have to be expensive, just make it something romantic, ask her out for a dinner in some fancy restaurant with candles and shit, get something for your newly born babies and be a good daddy. Are we clear?
I have no idea why my killing aura started seeping out, but Bob seemed to be scared shitless.
Bob: U-Understood, boss.
Icicle: Good. Now then, Shawn, get us to this address.
Shawn: Hospital, huh? Do you have someone you would like to visit, sir?
Icicle: Oh yeah, a very peculiar young man is hospitalized… I just want to pay him a visit out of goodness of my heart.
Shawn: Kidness, huh? Don’t get me wrong, sir Underwood, but your dictionary doesn’t know this word. At least it didn’t in the past…
Icicle: Hahaha, of course it doesn’t, Shawn. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be who I am. Some “lucky ones” need to be evil so that the rest of the population stays good and acts within the boundaries of the law…
Shawn: That’s a very interesting point of view, sir. I’ll give it some thought after work.
Icicle: You shouldn’t, Shawn. It’s something only people on the dark side will understand. Don’t get yourself corrupted, you’re a good guy.
Shawn: If you say so, sir. Enough of the chit-chatting, it’s getting late. I’ll get you to the hospital in a jiffy.
Arriving at the hospital, I saw Bob still wiggling.
Bob: A-Are you sure you don’t need me to go with you, sir?
Icicle: There’s no need, Bob. You’ve did enough already. Stop wiggling so much, buying something for your wife can’t be that hard. And if it really is, ask Sophie or my mother. Both of them will definitely know what to buy.
Turning to Shawn, I stretched out my hand.
Icicle: Mind borrowing me your phone, Shawn? Just in case.
Shawn: Not at all, sir. Here you go.
Icicle: Thank you, this shouldn’t take too long.
Walking into the hospital, I realized that I have no idea what room is this shithead in.
Approaching the reception, I tried to act as friendly as I could.
Icicle: Excuse me, my friend Henry has been brought here around 3 days ago. He had a broken nose and was roughed up. Do you know which room is he in…?
Receptionist: Hmmm… Henry, huh? Let’s see, there is such a young man, badly beaten, room 35, second floor.
Icicle: Thank you, kind miss.
Receptionist: You’re welcome young man.
I have no idea why I’m getting this funny looks from the women.
It’s either that this suit makes me look like a real stud or that I’ve shat myself…
Well, the second one isn’t really possible, nor is the first one… or is it…?
Nah, no way.
Using the elevator to get on the second floor, I looked for room 35.
Finally locating it, I opened the door.
What I saw there were three people.
Henry, who had a bandaged nose and all the medical equipment connected to him, sleeping, and his two friends, whatever the fuck their names were.
Icicle: What a lovely sight, retarded trio all in one place.
Lucas: What are you doing here, get out!
Brad: Have you come to finish Henry off? Like hell I’ll let you!
It’s funny how this guy stood in a boxing pose, while his legs were trembling.
Icicle: I don’t have anything to tell you, so might leaving me and Henry alone for a while? I just need to talk with him.
Showing the best smile I could muster, I thought this will convince these two scrubs.
???: What’s going on here?
Lucas: Miss Brown, this man is the one who beat up Henry. Tell him to get out!
Brad: That’s true, he’s the one!
I guess Henry would pitch in too, if not for the fact that he was sleeping.
Mrs. Brown: Is what they’re saying true, young man?
Icicle: It is. I wish I roughed this guy up a little more…
Mrs. Brown: How dare you say such a thing…! Get out before I call the security!
Icicle: That would be bad, wouldn’t it…? I don’t want you to experience the cold climates of Siberia, after all…
Mrs. Brown: What are you talking about?! Get out! Security!
Icicle: Oh well, if that’s what you want… I can only wish you well spent winter holidays, Mrs. S-a-n-d-e-r-s.
If you could only see this woman’s face. Her eyes almost popped out.
Security: Yes madame, what is it?
Mrs. Brown: Get these two guys out. I need some time with my son and this young man over here.
Oh, that’s a sudden plot twist.
Security: Understood madame.
Lucas: What are you doing, Mrs. Brown?!
Brad: What the hell?!
Mrs. Brown: Sit down, young man. It seems you know of something very dangerous…
Icicle: Do I? What could it be…?
Mrs. Brown: Stop playing games with me. Everyone knows our family as Browns, not Sanders. Who are you…?
Icicle: The one who roughed up your boy, his friends told you, didn’t they?
Mrs. Brown: You know what I’m asking you about.
Icicle: Hmmm, let me see. I’m the one who was thrown into jail for 3 days straight, without water, sleep, food or even unrestraining. Your husband, Nikolaj Sanders really has a weak spot for this retarded kid over here.
Pointing out to the sleeping Henry, I snorted.
Mrs. Brown: Nikolaj threw you into jail? Hmph, you’ve beaten our son up, what’s so strange about it?
Icicle: You see, my house was searched without a reason, then I was set up as a drug dealer. What I value really much is my privacy. Something, that you idiots have dared to invade. Now I’m in a real impasse. Should I send you back to your friends in Russia…? Maybe have your kid expelled from every school he goes to… Or just make you all go missing entirely… What a tough decision to make…
Mrs. Brown: If you can make all of that happen, why the hell are you even here? And who the hell are you?
Icicle: Who am I? To your husband, I’m Jeremy Grand. To the policemen who tortured me, I am their god right now, as to who I am to you… let me see… how about your guardian angel?
Mrs. Brown: Pfffft, you’re a really funny kid. Guardian angel who’s threatening me? That’s a really good one!
Look at that interrupted defensive mechanism. That old lady can laugh even in such a situation.
What interesting creatures are we humans…
Icicle: What I came here with is a treaty. Of course the terms are not negotiable. I could go straight to your husband, Nikolaj, but that would be no fun. That’s why I’ll have you, his miserable wife, deliver the news.
Mrs. Brown: Why should I even believe you? You’re probably just a nobody trying to scare me…
Icicle: That may be true. How should I prove it… how about sharing few details with you?
Mrs. Brown: Go ahead, amuse me even more, young man.
Icicle: I’ll have all of your 7 foreign bank accounts frozen. Then there’s the cousin you constantly visit, her assets will be taken away by the bank due to her unpaid mortgage…
Smiling wryly, Mrs. Sanders didn’t seem fazed.
Icicle: Of course, that’s not all. I know about your “hidden stashes” too. Then there are the accounts you have opened on false IDs, on your cousins, friends and distant relatives. These 35 accounts will be emptied too. In fact, they are frozen as we speak, you can use your phone to check, if you don’t believe me. I’ll give you a moment…
Watching the disbelieving woman’s face turn into an utter shock was a real pleasure.
Mrs. Brown: H-How is that possible…?! Who in the world are you to do all of that?!
Icicle: Who are you, what are you, how can someone so young have this much power and authority… these questions are starting to bore me. All that matters, is that I can. And you guys have dared to fuck with me…! Do you have a piece of paper and a pen?
Mrs. Brown: Y-Yes, I do. Here you go…
I was handed the piece of paper by the trembling from fear Mrs. Sanders.
Icicle: You’ll go to Nikolaj and give him this. I don’t care if you read it with him. If even one of the listed terms is broken, I’ll treat you like russians would. There won’t be a need to call them, I’ll have you participate in some unfortunate accident myself.
Mrs. Brown: T-Thank you for your mercy…
Icicle: I didn’t list it there, but if that shithead son of yours or his goons cross my way again, you’ll find him six feet under… in several places. I hope you understand what I just said.
Mrs. Brown: I-I do, sir. W-We’ll have him transferred, I promise.
Icicle: Now then, it was a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Sanders. Take care.
It’s a shame that I couldn’t scare this idiotic son of hers, but oh well. This should be enough.
Heading over to the car, I returned the phone to Shawn and told him to get me home.
Bob: Are you alright sir?
Icicle: Yeah, you seem to have calmed down as well.
Bob: I realized that you just care about me and don’t really want to kill me, so…
Icicle: You’re sometimes as stupid as that blackie I meant back then, almost 5 years ago…
Bob: As you said yourself, sir, people don’t really change…
Wow, that was a good answer…
Icicle: You got me Bob, it’s your win.
Seeing the sheepish smile on my subordinate’s face was enough to tell me that he enjoys that small victory.
Bob: Umm, sir, what should we do about your mother?
Why does this always have to matter…
Icicle: I’ll be very clear, Bob, Shawn. If you guys tell my mother where I live, I swear to God, I’ll have you castrated. I don’t care if you have to come up with lies, evade her or don’t answer at all. There’s no way I’ll suddenly return to the mansion and live happily ever after. With the decisions I made, I don’t think I can let my mother know where I live, at least not for the moment.
Shawn: Sir Underwood, you realize that your mother will learn of this anyways, don’t you? You’ve used your bank account to sent a wire transfer to Bob, everyone in the company will be alerted, that means miss Underwood as well.
Icicle: I realize what it means, Shawn. I’ll call my mother tomorrow, you two sit tight. Unless you want to tell me that your wieners are worth less than keeping your mouth shut for a day.
Bob & Shawn: We won’t tell a soul…
Icicle: Good, get me home, I’m tired. *yawn*
Shawn: Right away.
Sun was setting on the horizon.
Walking back home from my work, I was pissed off.
My subordinates were constantly making fun of me and my new interest.
I had to take another bus to get home, so I walked towards one of the bus stops in this small town, when I saw a black limousine stopping around 50 meters ahead of me.
What surprised me even more was who walked out of it.
It was Jeremy, the person I met in the forest!
Speeding up, I walked fast enough to reach him just before he entered the building.
Sara: Hello Jeremy. *giggle*
Icicle: Excuse me, who are you? Do we know each other?
H-Huh? Wasn’t he shy around me because he liked me back then…?
What the hell!
How can he just pretend like that!
Calm down Sara, it’s okay, just act like nothing happened…
Sara: It’s me, Sara, we’ve met while jogging.
Icicle: Sara…? Hmm, doesn’t ring a bell… Wait, you weren’t wearing glasses nor this outfit, were you?
Sara: N-No I wasn’t wearing any glasses, and yes I was in my tracksuit…
Icicle: So it’s you, huh. I apologize for not recognizing you, you just look… different. How are you?
Is he saying I look worse?! Not even recognizable?!
Hold it in, just hold it in…
Sara: I’m good. What’s the suit for? And these gentlemen? Are you working for someone important?
Icicle: Not really. These two guys are just driving me home. It was nice to see you, Sara. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m really tired.
Did he just ditch me?!
There’s no way I’ll just give up now that I know him from this handsome, alpha male side!
Sara: Umm, would you mind going out for a coffee with me tomorrow? I would like to apologize for what happened back then…
W-Why am I apologizing now?! I was supposed to be leading this conversation, shit!
Icicle: No can do, I’m busy.
… are you shitting me?!
Wasn’t he interested in me, not even in the slightest?!
Icicle: However, if it’s some other time, then I don’t mind. Here’s my number. XXX XXX XXX.
Icicle: Bob, Shawn, drive Sara home.
Sara: W-What? N-No, there’s no need, I’ll take a bus and-
Icicle: Use force if you have to. I won’t let her loiter the streets when it’s getting dark. Goodnight guys.
Bob&Shawn: Goodnight sir.
Bob: Please don’t resist. We don’t want to restrain you, miss.
Opening the door to a fancy limousine, I was forced to get inside.
How can this guy afford this much luxury?
Sara: Umm, what’s Jeremy doing for living?
Bob: This man, Jeremy, values his privacy. You’ll have to ask him yourself.
Shawn: What Bob said. Where to, miss?
After telling the chauffeur my address, I sat through the entire ride silently.
Sara: Thank you for the ride.
Bob: Take care miss.
Seeing the limousine taking off, I wondered…
Just who the hell are you, Jeremy Grand?!
Getting back to the apartment, I saw Mr.Peng walking in my direction.
Mr.Peng: Welcome back sir Grand. I’ve ordered some people to clean up your apartment and repair the front door. Here’s the invoice.
H-Huh? Oh right, I was supposed to order some cleaners and someone to fix the door myself…
Ugh, I’m just way too tired.
Icicle: Thank you, Mr. Peng. I’ll take care of it tomorrow, I’m dead tired. Please excuse me.
Mr. Peng: But of course, sir. Have a good night.
Lazily getting into my apartment, I don’t even know how did I manage to defeat the last boss, that is the stairs.
Opening the door, I made sure to lock it from the inside…
After that, all I know is that I walked towards the bed…