Second regular chapter of the week!
Thanks to e94allen for the notes!
Book 3 Chapter 17
Rebirth Online World
Creating, Telling, Sharing Dreams
Chapter Queue
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Rebirth Online World Chatroom
The link goes nowhere.
“Boss, a captain as arrived”.
as –> has?
“What is that your canine told me, Rolv, your unit lost to a human and a boy, at that”.
remove the unneeded comma
“What is that your canine told me, Rolv, your unit lost to a human and a boy at that”.
And just a friendly reminder here, that the period should be inside the quote not outside.
Thought, not once did he consider Zax surpassing him in any aspect other than the body.
I am confused about this sentence. I thought Zax’s Ki has been blocked so it cannot be ‘”in any aspect” other than the body’
He could not tell what was different but something creeped him,
It doesn’t look right unless you wanted to add ‘out’ or something?
He could not tell what was different but something creeped him out,
Thanks for the notes!
About the link… it corresponded with the post link… last time was the same…
Use this link instead
https://rebirthonlineworld.com/home-of-originality/earths-core/earths-core-book-3-chapter-17/
I had to use chapter 16 and then edit 16 to 17 directly in order to have access to chapter 17.
After the last blow Zax reappeared and stopped near the body of captain Kane, not a drop of blood dirtied him.
Replace ‘dirtied’ with ‘on’ instead?